Keeping My Word

I promised I would share the gifts the universe brought to me when I asked for help. Today I want to share Christopher Maher, my soul brother. I met him in 2006 when I was looking for help with my son, Joshua.  Joshua was always angry.  I heard that this man, Chris, had a way of stretching people that took the anger out of them.  He agreed to work with my son, but only after he’d worked with me.  I had anger, amongst other toxic emotions lingering in my tissues, and in order for him to be effective in helping my son, he had to help me first.

That began the most intense relationship I’ve ever been in.  There’s nothing like learning a person by releasing the pent up emotions through a process that is sometimes painful (he walked on me – literally).

I experienced an honesty of communication that I’d never felt before – there was just no hiding.  I pushed through walls and went beyond what I thought was humanly possible for myself. Chris was doggedly determined for me to get full benefit. He was a member of the US Navy SEAL teams, and he would never accept excuses.

I worked with Chris for two plus years until he moved to Los Angeles.  And during that time my body went through many changes.  The tension was taken out and being walked on became a pleasurable experience because my muscles were free of decades of stored emotions.  I was finally able to bend over and touch my toes. I’ve never been physically flexible – I was born with hip displasia – so being able to touch my toes was more than a function of my stomach shrinking and getting out of the way.

After Chris moved away, I started slacking off on the exercises he gave me. The stiffness slowly crept back, along with new tensions being stored in my muscles.

When I called out to the universe for help in early this July, Chris was one of the first to answer.  We don’t talk frequently, maybe once every three-four months – so maybe it was time for that call, or maybe it was divine timing (he says divine timing is part of his genetic make-up).  Whatever – he was right on time.  He invited me to participate in his Level 1 TBI Training (True Body Intelligence).  It was the movement that I needed.  I hadn’t been exercising and moving my body for months (I moved from my bedroom to my office to the kitchen to the car in the driveway to the store and back to the house – that was the extent of my movement).

I knew when I accepted his offer that I was in for pain (but good pain, pain that once endured would produce wonderful relief and physical freedom).  It did.  I spent five days with Chris and 14 others in Pacific Palisades.  It was beautiful, spiritual, wonderful and exhausting. And I committed to doing a solid 28 days of the self-stretching routine.

I came home just in time to teach my own 5-day raw-food lifestyle intensive, followed immediately by a working vacation to the Bahamas, followed by a trip to LA to attend the Cancer Control Society Conference with my mom.  So I used my exhaustion and traveling as a reason to not fully carry out my promise.  And when I did the exercises, it was late at night, like I put it off until the very last minute and was too tired to play full tilt.

I met with Chris briefly while in LA.  Somehow I thought I could hide.  But no – he reminded me that I had made a commitment, which I hadn’t kept, and that my failure was costing me feeling good about myself, and allowing me to do even worse things to my self-esteem.  I acknowledged that he was right and re-committed to doing the exercises.

I wish I could say that I went straight home and did them the right way, but I didn’t.  It was piecemeal, and I gave myself the excuses, but I knew.

This morning, when I had my AHA moment – I realized that I should be doing those exercises when I first wake up, like I’m worth it.  The work will always be waiting for me – it’ll never be done.  But I can’t wait, my health can’t wait, my swollen ankles and heavy body are telling me this.  My body is far more intelligent and powerful than my mind, but it has waited patiently for my mind to get in gear. And my mind has finally gotten the message – CHOP WOOD, CARRY WATER – else the body will exhaust it’s storage capacity for the toxins and experience something catastrophic.

There’s no more denial.  There’s no more hiding uncomfortably in the belief that as long as I’m fairly organic and about 60-80% raw that I can live out-of-balance in every other area of my life.

So this morning I did all 12 of my exercises, even the one where my hamstrings usually cramps.  And because my mind was right, I didn’t even cramp.

DAY 1! Done bright and early, like I’m worth it!!

Twenty-seven more to go to keep my word, then a lifetime.

PS – If you’re interested in Chris’ body of work – True Body Intelligence – then just let me know and I’ll get you his contact information.