Fighting for My Life Again

I’m going raw again.

My lower left leg and left foot are swollen. The skin on my leg is darkening, thickening and becoming scaly. I’ve seen this in older men who have diabetes. Do I want to go to a doctor and have them tell me that I’m diabetic? NO!!! I don’t want pharmaceuticals to become a new “normal.” Not when I know the power of juicing and the raw food diet.

Being a food addict makes my struggle against obesity a lifetime battle. It’s almost a shameful thing, being a raw food lifestyle expert, but not living it enough to be vibrantly healthy. The only thing that saves me from being ashamed is that this is an opportunity to document the journey back to raw with all the withdrawal twangs and triumphant over-comings.

So this is Day 1. I didn’t plan it this way. I just woke up and thought I can’t keep playing Russian Roulette – my leg is telling me that I’ve lost control of my body. She’s waiting for me to love her enough to do right by her. And this wonderfully blessed body of mine responds brilliantly to good treatment.

So, I’ll be posting everyday until eating all raw becomes second nature again. I’ve done it before, remaining raw, vegan and organic for two years. I went from 320 pounds (in 2005) to 160 pounds within 18 months. I kept that weight off for nearly 6 years, but life happened and my old coping strategy (sit and eat) re-emerged. My weight crept back up to 244 pounds.

It’s time to renew that philosophy that served me so well in 2005. “Change or Die.” I’m 15 years older now and wiser. This means that I know myself well enough that I can’t play with cooked food and animal foods – I need to be strict with myself because I easily slip down the slope if I’m not resolute.

So it’s time to perform my best magic trick – cutting a woman in half. I don’t need to get to 122 pounds, but if I could go from a size 20 to a size 10, and from a DDD+ cup to a C cup, then I’d feel like a grand success.

I’ve committed to taking a picture of everything I eat, to weigh in once per day, and to blog about what I’m feeling.

Thank you for listening. I’ll be accountable to you.