So I completed my first week of 100% raw with no problems or temptations. Having made the decision to act like I’m worth it, I have been able to stay the course. The satisfaction and self-esteem that I’ve gained from keeping my promise to myself has allowed me to stop dreaming about food. (I’m praying that this continues because I’m going to begin a 30-day juice-and-herb cleanse program – I don’t want to have those dreams where I eat out of habit and then realize I’ve F’d up and then feel bad until I wake up.)
The scale hasn’t moved in five days – I’ve stayed at 216. But that hasn’t stopped me from acting like I’m worth it. Neither has the knowledge that at 49, weight/fat loss isn’t as easy as it once was. I keep plodding along, fueled by the congruency between my words and my deeds.
Then it hit me yesterday while I was walking. THIS BODY IS MY SOUL’S ADDRESS! This body of mine is the only means for my soul to carry out its purpose here on earth.
There’s something so sacred in this realization that it trumps “fake-it-till-I-make-it” or “acting-like-I’m-worth-it” routines.
I’ve ignored this body over the last 10 months – spending the first six months getting my physical business address (the Healing House) in order, then the next four months getting my online business address (this website) in order – all the while ignoring my soul’s address. I’d put on a mummifying 30 lbs. in 10 months (and 60 lbs. in the 4 years since my hysterectomy). The work and the distractions never stop. But instead of recognizing this and carving out some sacred time daily to take care of myself, I sacrificed my mobility, flexibility, energy and credibility.
I thank God that my soul brother, Christopher, stood in the gap for me – firmly, but lovingly, holding me accountable for my state of being until I realized this truth.
Now as I move forward, literally, with what I eat and how I move and how I think, it will be done with gratitude to this body that has hosted my soul, while enduring my ego’s abuse and lack of love and appreciation.
Coming from that place, I can’t wait to do good-for-me things that honor my soul’s address.